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I often hear from wives who are not sure where to turn after believing that their husband no longer loves them. Sometimes these wives realize this after observing their husband’s behavior. Other times, this happens after a big argument or big problem has arisen. Occasionally, it is the husband who makes this claim for himself. However it has happened, the wife has come to the conclusion that she is not loved, and this often hurts and confuses her.
She might say, “My husband won’t exactly admit that he doesn’t love me anymore, but he won’t deny it either. When we first got married, he used to run home with me. We didn’t have a lot of money, but we could always have fun just being together. We loved cooking and singing together.” I can’t remember the last time we did that now my husband is usually late home from work and doesn’t have much to say to him when I finally get home I’ll try to be nice and have a good evening and although he’s friendly, She doesn’t engage with me like she used to. Last week my mom had a bit of a health scare, she fell and hurt herself badly, so I felt it was necessary to go spend a few days with her and handle some safety issues at her home, before my husband always accompanied me on these kinds of trips. We were always in this together. Last night, he told me that he was too busy and that he would not go with me. When I was sad about this, to tell him that I felt that he did not love me anymore. laughed at me and he did not respond to my concern. When I think about the last two years, I can see many other incidents like this, where his behavior could have been reassuring and loving, but it wasn’t. I guess he didn’t want to see it at the time. Some of my friends say that I am exaggerating with this, but I don’t think so. I’m pretty sure my husband doesn’t love me anymore and I don’t know how to deal with it. I don’t want a divorce. I don’t want to lose my marriage. But how do you have a marriage without love?
Understand where you are now and where you could be in the future: I understand your preocupation. There was a time in my own marriage when I felt my husband’s love slipping away. I didn’t want to face reality so I just looked away and hoped things would get better. They didn’t. We parted ways. Therefore, I would never encourage you to simply ignore this or not address it. He should always address what makes you uncomfortable and uneasy about his marriage. That said, I’m pretty sure that before and during my own breakup, my husband really believed that he didn’t love me anymore. I’m also pretty sure he believed that love could never come back.
And yet here it is years later, and we’re still married today. And since we have made great changes and improvements in our marriage, I feel extremely loved and valued. The way they treat me today is very different from the way they treated me then. (And my husband would probably say the same). But it took a lot of effort to get from that day to this. The point I’m trying to make is that even if you’re right and your husband thinks he doesn’t love you, it’s possible to change that.
I firmly believe that we all tend to be heavily influenced by the circumstances and situations around us. If our marriage gets a little tired and we don’t see a quick and immediate solution, we run the risk of believing that we no longer love our spouse the way we used to. Ours is an instant gratification society filled with “perfect” social media images that just aren’t real. So there is a real tendency to throw something away or make big changes when things no longer seem perfect. We convince ourselves that we are facing a lost cause and that our efforts to change things may be a waste of time.
That’s the bad new. Now here’s some good news. The above scenario is not set in stone. My marriage is an example, but I know many others. If you can change the bitter situation and circumstances, you can also change the perception of feelings. Yes, our weddings change over time. The man who used to run home now has countless responsibilities on his shoulders. He may not have anything to do with his wife, but he realizes that when he comes home, he doesn’t feel like he used to. This is not his wife’s fault, but sometimes he attributes these feelings to her and withdraws from the marriage. This is unfair, but the only silver lining here is that if both parties can find a way to lighten his load or change the household dynamic so that home is his safe place to fall, suddenly his feelings towards his wife are going to disappear. it also changes.