If men and women wanted the same thing, there would be no sexual politics. Men and women disagree because they want different things from each other. Most women want affectionate company and family. It is this desire to have children that continues to make women dependent on men. Women need something to offer in return. That thing is sex. Anyone who suggests that pleasure is equal does not understand the laws of nature.
Men are taller, heavier and stronger than women. Women don’t fight like men. Only a very naive person would suggest that men don’t use this physical advantage to get what they want from women. Men do not encourage women to work. In fact, men openly acknowledge that they like women to be financially dependent on them. Men know that they can use this financial advantage to make women feel compelled to offer them regular sex in return.
Women’s desire for affectionate company drives their desire to have relationships with men. But given men’s tendency to focus their life’s efforts on their own goals, women often want children too. Women’s drive to have children is not as immediately obvious or urgent as men’s sex drive, but it nonetheless aids in successful reproduction. It is an amazing phenomenon and it is not entirely clear how it arises. Women enjoy intimate company, which men rarely provide. Women also like to take care of cute pets and small children who depend on them.
Men’s view of sex is much more compelling politically. Men heavily promote their own point of view because it is vitally important to them. Sexual politics is created by men’s desire to have sex. Men won’t accept what women say about sex unless it agrees with their own point of view. Specifically, they want to hear that a woman wants to have sex as much as they do.
Men are not attracted to all women. They are attracted to women who are sexually willing. Of course, men trust that their view of sex will prevail. Women are too embarrassed to offer their own vision of sex.
Men have always defined women’s sexuality for them. Men assume they have sexual instincts that women lack. Men own the concept of the female orgasm. The ego of “Obviously you haven’t met the right man to make you orgasm!” indicates the masculine perspective. Some female politicians also support the male view of female sexuality in order to be popular with men.
Men want to believe that women can orgasm with intercourse because this might make them more sexually amenable. But this is not logical. The evidence of the female orgasm would be the women’s enthusiasm for intercourse. Pornography acts as an emotional security blanket reassuring men that women are always willing to have sex to guarantee their sexual outlet.
Male propaganda far outweighs any attempts by women to correct men. This is due to several reasons.
Men’s interest in talking endlessly about sex far outweighs women’s extremely low or negative interest in the topic.
Men are physically and psychologically more energetic than women, so they can use brute force to get their own opinion heard.
Women want to be attractive to men. They can only do this by silently ignoring men’s claims that sex is great.
Women depend on the support of men to have children. So women have an emotional investment in their relationship with a man.
Ask a woman in any developing country and she will tell you that sex is for male pleasure and to make babies. Try asking a woman in a developed country the same question and you’ll get silence. In our bravado-driven society, women don’t want to feel subjugated by men. The female orgasm justifies the role of women in an activity that focuses on male pleasure. The fact that women’s lifestyles are subsidized by their partners is overlooked.
Research has shown that trying to brainwash women into believing they can enjoy sex as much as men does not lead to more sex for men. The idea that women should enjoy sex existed before any research was done. But this belief was always a male vision. Men’s sex drive means they depend on women for sex, and the sex industry sells a fanciful vision of women’s sexuality.
Men gloat over the sexual pleasure they enjoy, and worse, they brag about the sexual pleasure they think women enjoy. They never notice that such jubilation is one-sided. Male propaganda silences women because of the implied sexual inappropriateness. Women get tired of men talking about the pleasure they enjoy without any sensitivity to the fact that women’s minds and bodies don’t respond in the same way. Very few women talk about orgasm. Women ensure that sexual references are avoided in their presence by displaying their distraction non-verbally. Silent abstention is easy and keeps the peace. Most people would be tempted by an offer of financial security for life. This is what marriage represents for women. There is little to be gained by facing conflict with a man who supports the family.
As the feminist group Redstockings put it, for many women marriage is one of the few forms of employment available. (Hits 1993)