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Somewhere along the line, there were a lot of misconceptions about one-night stands that were encouraged. Well, I’m going to clear all that up right now. If you really want to be able to understand how to pick up women the night you meet them, you need to understand that the top five misconceptions listed below are totally false. Let’s go over them and why they’re just not true.
5. “Women don’t want one night stands.”
Not all women want one night stands, but in my experience, I’d say about half of the single women you see on the weekend are open to the experience. There are big contingencies in this, considering the logistics, her friends, how her night was, how calm the guy trying to give her a ride home is, among other things.
So taking all of that into account, I would say the figure is somewhere between 10-20% of women.
On top of that, there are about 1-2% of women who go out and directly seek sex. They tend to be between 25 and 35 years old, from out of town, dress more promiscuously and are a bit drunk. They are much more adventurous with their sexuality and have no problem with one night stands.
The point, though, is that there are quite a few women out there on any given night of the week who are just looking for Prince Charming to come over, surprise them, and take them back to one of his places for mind-blowing sex. . Keep in mind that when you’re out on a weekend night, you’ve seen plenty of women out on their own and going home with someone, and that person could be you.
4. “If I try to kiss her too soon, I’ll lose her.”
Too many guys wait too long, too long to kiss in my opinion. They think they need to have these deep connecting conversations in order to kiss a woman and keep her interested.
The key to making this work is how you act about the kiss and how you act afterward. There have been countless women I’ve kissed within five minutes of meeting, and I kept her interested and close for the long haul because of my kissing behavior. If I get really scared because she gives me her cheek, or if I start climbing quickly with her, and she’s not ready yet, I can kiss that woman goodbye again.
There is some risk in going in for the kiss too soon, but the benefits of going in too soon far outweigh the benefits of waiting too long.
3. “Having a one night stand is MUCH harder than getting her number and setting up a date.”
Personally, I am of the opinion that in many cases, one night stands are EASIER than taking her on a date.
Taking a woman out on a date takes a LOT of time and energy. You’ll need to call or text her, set up a date, meet her, play with her, build up the sexual tension, take her back to one of your places, and then sleep with her. By having a one night stand, I can skip all those steps in between and go straight to taking her somewhere private and having sex.
It will take a little more investment up front, but if you can get a solid number out of a woman, that with a little more time with her, you should be able to make out with her, climb physically, and very possibly have a one night stand with her.
2. “If I sleep with her before they spend 7 hours together, it won’t be solid.”
The idea that if you sleep with a woman before 7 o’clock, it won’t be solid and that she “isn’t fully into you yet, and you’ll lose her if you have sex with her too soon,” is completely false.
7 hours is an arbitrary number that has nothing to do with where a woman is or how you deal with her feelings. For you to make sleeping with her solid and keep her coming back for more, a connection of some sort must be built, but here’s the kicker, and one of the only secrets I know of. . .
This can build AFTER you have had sex with her.
That’s how it is. You don’t need it before, all you need to do to sleep with her, WITH NO COMFORT AT ALL, is have a solid attraction, have what I like to call “safety comfort” established, and hit all her Turn-On Switches. With this alone, you become “That Guy”, the one a woman meets at a bar or club, she thinks he’s super hot and he knows all the right moves to turn her on and make the right things happen. .
“That guy” is the one who tells his friends, “Well, we were just hanging out and things happened. I wasn’t planning on sleeping with him, but he was so hot, and we started kissing and one thing led to another.” In the next section, we’re going to talk about how to make YOU ‘That Guy’.
1. “You can’t have an ongoing relationship with a one night stand.”
You CAN create relationships from your one night stands. The way this is done is that you build that connection with a woman AFTER you have slept with her. And doing this is actually easier than usual, because she has made herself physically vulnerable to you and therefore partially emotionally vulnerable as well.
When this vulnerability is handled by you, you show her that you don’t judge her for having an ONS with you, that you sincerely love her, and also make yourself emotionally vulnerable with her; you can create a connection with her that will make her want to see you again.
This process is known as BACKLOADING, there’s a bit of that so I can’t write about it here, but it’s very powerful and works like a charm. See my other articles for details on how this is done.