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Sounds pretty absurd, doesn’t it? But what if you flip this idea on its head? What if instead of seeing online dating as an obstacle, you use it as an opportunity?
Dating can feel desperate
Any of us who have ever used online dating to find a relationship know that it can be frustrating and overwhelming trying to sift through the myriad of other people searching.
First, the strange profiles. Then the disappointing dates. Sometimes you even end up with what feels like a great date but he never calls back or fizzles out after a while or maybe you even considered it a relationship but now it’s over.
So, you give up. “Forget it,” you tell yourself. “Online dating doesn’t work. It will never work. I’ll be alone for the rest of my life.”
Doesn’t that sound so familiar to you? Any of us who have experienced online dating have definitely been there.
dating as therapy
But just as therapy gives people tools to help ease or heal a disorder, so too the dating process (when done the right way) can be a tool to help you work through past relationship pain and fears. of ‘never find the only one.’
With the right guidance, I tell you, not only is it possible to find what you’re looking for, but the process of getting there can feel a lot less desperate and frustrating.
In fact, you might even have fun and gain more and more confidence through it.
But how?
The key is to first determine what you’re really looking for. Next, find out what patterns of situations have occurred frequently and what have been the biggest challenges.
Once you identify these two elements, you will be able to be more honest with yourself about your observations of potential partners.
Working on yourself, focusing on yourself and creating boundaries around yourself will allow you to navigate online dating in a much freer way.
It sounds harder than it is, but in reality, what you’re doing is simply narrowing your focus down to just people who are potential candidates for a fantastic, committed relationship, instead of blindly choosing someone based on their looks, interests, similar or income levels.
It’s possible!
When I realized what I was doing in my love life that was not serving me, suddenly the hope and possibility of a fantastic committed relationship became a reality.
Through this new perspective it was as if I looked around me and realized that my fears were not reality at all! I had potential suitors who came from all over, and now it was my job to choose between them.
And over time, the potential candidates to choose went from weird and creepy guys to attractive guys with admirable and interesting qualities.
I enjoyed many dates with many different men, but more importantly, I was in love with my own life the whole time.
This allowed me to open up to someone who I may have unknowingly rejected before, or never met because I had stopped dating, but who has since become someone I share a love and friendship with. committed relationship.
I believe that anyone who is willing to take a closer look at what is going on in their life, take steps to improve their situation, and remain committed to themselves throughout the process may have what they are looking for.