Men’s Grooming Guide: Are You Being Shunned Because You Look Like Chewbacca?

Are you being rejected because you look like Chewbacca?

Men, it’s the 21st century and the caveman look is no longer enough. First date impressions mean a lot and there’s no reason you should let your first impression be that you were a stunt double for Chewbacca in the first Star War movie. Here are some grooming tips that will have the ladies going wild for good reason.

Men’s Grooming Guide:

• unibrow – Every man should have two eyebrows, not just one. You should trim those long-haired eyebrows and shave those middle hairs.
• nose hair – I don’t care what a person is talking about, I just can’t take anyone seriously with a bunch of hairs coming out of their nose. I recommend investing in a nose and ear trimmer, they are not that expensive.
• ear hair – When you get older for some strange reason you start to grow more hair on your ears. Like I said before, invest in a nose and ear clipper.
• back hair – While for the most part you won’t see back hair, I hear women complain about their boyfriends’ back hair. If you have some random patches of hair, remove them with wax.
• neck hair – This is something you see a lot, two strands of hair on a man’s neck. Ask your barber to block his hair the next time you go to the barber.
• beards – I think that having a beard or goatee is not a bad thing, just that it is short and well groomed. You can buy some nice beard and mustache trimmers that cut your beard to the same length.
• Comb – It’s time to let him go. You are not fooling anyone by combing the hair from the bottom of the head to the top. I just started losing some of my hair and decided to shave it all off. It was one of the best things I’ve ever done.
• long hair – Long hair is great. If you let it grow out, just make sure to brush it out and use shampoo and conditioner. Some of the greatest seducers I’ve ever seen have long hair. Mullets don’t count.
• nails – Make sure they are trimmed to a normal length and are clean underneath. Going to a date like you just changed the oil in your car is not cool.
• Dry Skin – Do you have ashen elbows? Time to break out the lotion. Be sure to put lotion on your face, hands, and elbows.
• Bathrooms – It’s time to put on the scrub. Find yourself a nice-smelling body wash and get to work. Also, do not neglect the shampoo and hair conditioner.
• Body odor – I don’t care how soft you are, you won’t get a date if you smell like the high school football locker room. Make sure to use deodorant twice if you need to. Always wear an up-to-date cologne and not the $1.99 aftershave at the grocery store. If you don’t know which type to choose, ask the lady who works at the colognes counter.
• Bad breath – If you have bad breath, you definitely won’t get a kiss and turn a woman off completely. Be sure to rinse your mouth at least twice. You also want to brush your teeth, gums, and tongue very well.
• manscaping – Last but not least. I’ll let you figure this out on your own.

Are you over groomed? There is another side of the coin that is to dress up so much that you start to look feminine. We are still men, right?

• pluck one’s eyebrows – Your eyebrows should look even and well-groomed, not thin and thin. That makes you look feminine. Only Prince can get away with it.
• over tan – While a good tan looks good, over tanning can make it look like you’ve been microwaved for 4 hours straight. Also, the faux orange tan makes you look like you have liver disease.
• hairless body -Unless you have a bodybuilding competition or swimming competition coming up, you don’t need to shave your entire body.
• hair gel – While putting on a little bit of hair gel is great, putting on so much that it looks like you got hit by a rack of glue sticks is not.
• Manicure – A manicure may be going too far. Unless you’ve run your fingers through a cheese grater, I wouldn’t worry.
• Eyeliner – The only reason you should wear eyeliner is if you’re playing in an ’80s tribute band.

Great, after all that grooming you’ll look and smell great and still look like a man. Just stand up straight and smile and you will have a great first date or meet new women.