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“My ex hasn’t called me! What should I do?”
It is a common question. Getting back in touch with your ex boyfriend or girlfriend is a necessary part of reversing your breakup and an important step on the road to reconciliation. However, at the same time, it is also one of the most complicated steps in the entire process. If you make too much contact or do it too quickly, you may inadvertently be pushing your ex in the opposite direction. But wait too long and your ex might start dating someone new. It’s a difficult balance between patience and action, and even the most experienced people need help.
Getting your ex to contact you is the best way to reopen the lines of communication. The methods he uses to accomplish something like this are pretty easy, once he knows what they are. But even before taking this step, you must first do something else, and it is one of the opening moves when it comes to getting your boyfriend or girlfriend back after a breakup: withdraw for a while and break off all communication.
That’s right: the best results you’ll get from reconnecting with your ex will happen once you’ve broken contact for a while. By leaving your ex boyfriend or ex girlfriend alone, you are giving them time to think about you and miss you. When someone leaves you, the first thing they want is some space, and this is not necessarily a bad thing. The problem is that most people who get dumped are usually not willing to give that space… they think they can still talk their ex out of breaking up with them, and this destroys their chances.
If you’re a little (or a lot) to blame for this, you may have already done things like call your ex excessively, drive home or work, send long notes, or even leave flowers. You’ve sent emails… text messages… you’ve done everything you thought was necessary to make your ex see that you love him. However, in reality, most of what you did was for your own benefit: you did it because it made your feeling better. You really didn’t take your ex-girlfriend’s or ex-boyfriend’s feelings or needs into consideration at all, because you were too overwhelmed with the desperate need for contact.
At this point, you’re sitting around wondering “why hasn’t my ex called me?” when the answer is quite simple: it’s because your ex still doesn’t miss you. Once he or she is alone for a while and has a few weeks to process the breakup, they will usually figure it out. very quickly that they need you much more than they thought. If you don’t hear from you, your ex will panic and begin to fear the worst. Did you move on without them? Have you gotten over the breakup? Have you found someone else? All of these fears will materialize in the mind of your ex boyfriend or girlfriend, giving them the overwhelming need to know exactly what you’re up to. And since you haven’t talked to them in any way? This is when your ex will call you.
“Are there other ways to contact them? How can I get my ex to contact them?”
Etiquette for contacting your ex boyfriend or girlfriend requires that you leave your ex alone for a while immediately after the relationship ends. But once enough time has passed? There are several good techniques you can use to get your ex to initiate contact again. Some of the easiest and most common ideas can be found below:
* The “I found your stuff” call: Find something that belongs to your ex that he or she left at your house and call them offering to return it (or have them pick it up). To get your ex to call you back, make the call when you know he or she won’t be home and leave a message. If you broke off contact for a while, they will already be curious to talk to you again, which guarantees a callback. However, make sure that what you are calling is important and not something small like a hairbrush or a music CD.
* The “How’s Mom?” He calls: If you dated your ex for a while and got close to her family, it’s always good to ask how they’re doing. Especially if your ex has relatives in the hospital, about to have surgery, a brother or sister about to go off to college for the first time… you can use these excuses to call on the phone and ask “Hi, how are you?” What’s your dad been up to?” or whatever the case may be. Since you haven’t called in weeks, your ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend won’t immediately suspect that you have ulterior motives, and may even think it’s sweet that you called to check on their relative. .
* The “Congratulations!” Call – Another good way to get your ex in touch: Call him to congratulate him on something. Maybe it’s your ex’s birthday, he or she got promoted, graduated from school, or received some other kind of award or recognition during your time apart. This is a great excuse to call and wish them well. Again, doing so he or she is not home will always make her ex call you back, which is the best case scenario.
There are plenty of other great ideas for getting your ex boyfriend or girlfriend to make first contact with you again, but knowing what to do when he or she calls is even more important. When that call comes, you need a step by step plan of action. Instead of sitting and wondering why my ex hasn’t called me, you need to prepare for the moment do to call. Knowing exactly what you’re going to say and exactly how to handle the conversation are two crucial parts of getting back on track with fixing your breakup.
If you want your ex back, you need to get them in touch. Communication plays a critical role in any reconciliation. Know your next move and don’t be afraid to do it. Only by being proactive can you work towards your ultimate goal: getting your ex back into your arms.