The Very Real Consequences of Evasive Answers

Some time ago I was in a meeting with a project manager who presented the status of his troubled project to the project sponsor and other executive stakeholders. This project was of great interest to the sponsor and stakeholders as they depended on its successful completion to make some important changes in their respective organizations. The project sponsor asked the project manager a very simple question:

Why is the project falling apart?

The project manager went into a long, meandering monologue. The sponsor interrupted and asked the question again. More meanders from the project manager. Seeing the growing frustration of the sponsor and other stakeholders, the project manager’s boss stepped in and said they needed to do more work and would come back the next day better prepared. The next day, the project manager’s boss presented the status and answered questions, along with a new project manager.

Throughout my career, I have seen (and been in) many situations where questions from an executive (whom I will refer to as “the asker”) were met with evasive answers. It could be that the person being asked (“the questioner”) did not want to admit that he did not know something or be proven wrong. So the requester, as we used to say in the consulting world, would “tap dance” to try any answer that might satisfy the questioner. Most of the time, the asker got frustrated with the evasiveness. This led me to the following hypothesis:

If an asker asks a question, the asker expects a direct answer.

When a person being asked is evasive, they let the questioner make up their own answer.

The recipient of the question has not only damaged his credibility, but now has to change the asker’s perception of the answer.

While my focus is on executive interaction, the same principle applies to other relationships like spouses or business partners. When an applicant is evasive, the questioner makes up his own answer and now has to climb out of a hole to restore credibility and set the record straight.

Do you need to develop your response skills? Keep in mind the following eight tips:

1. listen first then answer – Take the time to listen to a question without interrupting the questioner, then when the questioner has finished, give an answer. Resist the urge to interrupt to get your response.
2. ensure clarity – If you really don’t understand a question, then ask for clarification. But don’t continually ask for clarity; it might seem like you’re drifting.
3. give direct answers – If you are asked a direct yes/no question, answer yes/no. If there are contextual factors that support the answer or conditions that may change the answer, then provide them, concisely. And please don’t say, “It depends” without qualification.
4. Do not reformulate Saying something like “The question you should ask is…” immediately conveys that you think the person asking is not smart enough to ask the right questions. Acknowledge the question, answer it, and move on.
5. Don’t get sidetracked – Changing the topic to avoid answering a question can work if the asker can be distracted, but usually the asker can sniff out when someone is avoiding a question by changing the topic. Do it once and you’ll probably get some laughs for innocently not understanding the question; do it two or more times and you will be seen as an avoider.
6. Do not attack the validity – Saying something like “That’s not important” or “You shouldn’t ask that” tells the person asking that you think their intelligence is inferior to yours. If the questioner takes the time to ask a question, then assume that the question is important to him/her.
7. Say “I don’t know” – If you don’t know the answer to a question, quickly reply “I don’t know, I need to contact you.” Then record the question and get ready for a “When will you know?” follow-up of the asker.
8. Be quick to admit if you’re not ready – Too many “I don’t know” may mean you have to do more research. It is best to avoid this by being clear on the subject and prepared to discuss it. An abrupt and humiliating end to a meeting with a “you have to do more homework” directive will motivate you not to let it happen again.

It bears repeating: the consequences of evasive answers not only mean that the questioner makes up their own answer, but it also damages the recipient’s credibility. Give direct answers and control the narrative.