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If you’re looking for short-term pleasure, you may be feeling really good right now. You might wake up smiling and feel like you’re flying through the day at work. Your mind may be focused and eagerly anticipating those next moments of happiness with this person who makes your heart sing. This is the stuff love songs are made of, the joy of those early days and months and early years when emotion reigns supreme and sensual love fills every pore of your body.
However, real love in the real world cannot sustain that high level of emotional intensity and sensual madness. Sooner or later, reality sets in. This person you couldn’t stop thinking about, reaching out to touch, and wanting to talk about gradually becomes a real person with real needs. Some of those needs do not meet their own expectations. Some of this person’s attitudes, behaviors, and expectations may interfere with their normal, habitual way of being.
Current studies indicate that what used to be called the 7-year itch has now been reduced to just 3 years. That means that about 3 years into a relationship (and for many it’s much sooner), you may not feel as captivated. Real life problems are staring you in the face. You discover traits and facets of this other person that you not only dislike but even hate. Then your eye catches a glimpse of someone else, someone who looks good, someone who smiles and doesn’t seem to have that “awful” trait you just discovered in this familiar person.
This is where the topic of short-term pleasure or long-term pleasure comes in. If you are looking for short-term pleasure, you may decide to cheat on your current partner. You may become emotionally or sexually involved, telling lies to cover your tracks. The short-term pleasure can be immeasurable. You could regain that lost feeling of desire, lust, and passion. You might even leave your current and faithful partner for the opportunity to start over with this new person.
This is where the long-term pain begins. When you’re chasing short-term pleasure, the inevitable long-term pain isn’t far behind. You may soon discover that this new person is not as pleasant to be with as it is with your former partner. In fact, she may desperately want to get back with the one she left behind, the one who broke her heart. But even if she returns, the trust has been broken and may never be fully mended. There will be an element of long-term pain indefinitely.
However, if you hit that 3-year itch and decided to do something to improve your current relationship, you may be taking steps toward long-term pleasure. By focusing on the needs and wants of the person who already cares about you, is already committed to you, and has a proven track record of loving you, you have the opportunity to create something great and lasting.
Loving relationships that endure have managed to weather the storms, get through the painful times, and stay connected. Short-term pain (sometimes months and even a few years) can be followed by renewed passion and long-term happiness.
The decision is always yours. Do you want to seek short-term pleasure with the potential for long-term pain? Or would you rather endure some short-term pain on the way to long-term pleasure and lasting love?