By 
dementia and my mom
I never imagined that I would lose my mother.
day to day
moment by moment
To something called Dementia.
I figured we’d have quiet times
to remember
From playing board games,
But a thief stole and claimed his vision
And gone are the puzzles
scrabble games
Even the crazy 8.
The next thing to go was his memory.
“Why am I here in this place?”
“When can I go home?”
“Where is my stuff?”
“I think I own this building, I inherited it.”
“Do you know where my room is?”
“I never see you.” Mom, I’ve been here every day.
“Why can’t I go with you?”
Since you can’t walk, you’re in a wheelchair.
“Yes I can”
Mom you need help to go to the bathroom
Two people are needed to get in and out of the bed.
“Your father was here, he slept with me last night”
Dad has been gone for almost 20 years.
But they tell me to just agree with her so as not to upset her.
But it bothers me…
Confined to a wheelchair, her days drag on
He falls asleep or goes out into the sun, “to absorb”
“I’m glad you’re here,” she says and then falls asleep.
Every day the same, but a little different
Meals you don’t remember
The time of day she has no idea
Waiting, wondering why she’s still alive
“I told you I wouldn’t stay, but I’m still here”
It’s okay mom, we’re glad you’re still here.
He had been coming for a while. Since last fall she had been in and out of the hospital with various infections and we thought she was gone in March when she dropped her blood pressure and had another infection but recovered even without medication. The problem was that she couldn’t walk on her own anymore. She had needed help for a long time and I had been at her residence 24 hours a day, 7 days a week for weeks. It was time to make a change to a nursing home. We did the paperwork and then we waited. She had to stay in the hospital since she could not return to her residence. That meant we had to clean out her room, throwing out a lot of things that wouldn’t fit in her new room: dressers, chairs, tables, and her electric bed. The family took what she could, but we only gave away what was left.
My sister lives 5 hours away so she tries to come every other weekend which helps but the main care falls on me. I feel very guilty if I can’t go in every day, even though I know that she is safe. There are little things that aren’t being done, that they don’t have time for because they have too many people to take care of. I worry about what will happen to me when I am 98 years old. It is time for the government to pay more attention to healthcare for the elderly.